She said it.
It was the words I’ve been dreading since she came out of the womb. I knew this day would come. I knew it. We all knew it. It happens to every parent. But so soon? Why so soon?
“Mommy, when can I get a cellphone?,” my 6-year-old daughter said the other day.
Six. She is six.
I don’t know what was more shocking, the sight of my eyes bulging out of their sockets in disdain or the fact my KINDERGARTNER was already asking for the devil’s technology.
She then handed me an ancient iPhone 4 she found tucked away in my nightstand.
“Can I have this one?”
No.
“Can I get another one?”
No.
“OK, can you draw me one on a piece of paper?”
Now that’s more like it.
She settled for the paper phone, which was far more age-appropriate than anything Steve Jobs has created. And trust me, she had more engaging phone conversations with her paper phone than I’ve had in months with actual humans.
While this was fortunately a false alarm, it did get me thinking about cellphones and what age magically makes you mature enough to handle one. I see fifth and sixth graders walking home from our neighborhood elementary with phones in hand, so while I’m off the hook now, I imagine the peer pressure will only intensify in the coming years.
According to a recent survey conducted by SellCell, an online cellphone retailer, 65% of preteens have convinced mom and dad to add them to the phone plan by age 13, and 40% of parents have caved even earlier and purchased a phone for their kid by age 10. The results show a majority of the children surveyed received a phone somewhere between ages 7 and 13.
As to why parents allow this, 83% responded saying it was to stay in contact with them, the parent. The intent is good, but in so many cases, it opens Pandora’s box. Or literally Pandora, the app, filled with degrading rap lyrics and racy comedy. Pun very much intended.
When I think back to my childhood, it’s hard to base a decision on what my parents did. Cellphones were just emerging as a widespread trend. I really didn’t have the option to have my own phone at such a young age, but I was among the first wave of high schoolers to get a sweet Nokia complete with T-9 texting that would cost you about 10 cents per text. My parents didn’t get me the phone until I was out and about a lot and driving. It made sense at the time, and I was grateful. The most riveting thing about it was the game of “Snake” I could play under my desk in a boring class. It’s hardly comparable to today.
Fast forward a few years, and the smartphone boom transformed the world when I was a senior in college. It wasn’t just a communication mechanism anymore. The smartphone was a baby computer that rode around in your pocket all day, ready and willing to provide any piece of information or smut your little heart could ever desire. Now, it’s not just a tool. It’s something we’re all painfully addicted to.
Add in a pandemic where we had nothing to do and nowhere to go, screen times skyrocketed. Now factor in social media, Snapchat filters, TikTok and tons of unrealistic expectations, and we’ve got a heaping pile of trouble to face with our kids. Worth is now measured in likes and social “media” now has a profound effect on social “life.” Is it coincidence that the CDC reported suicide among 10 to 24-year-olds increased 60% over the last decade? I think not.
I know from my own smartphone use, it’s easy to create unhealthy habits. Notifications are designed to make us addicted. We crave the instant gratification of an update on Facebook, a new YouTube video or the ever-coveted “heart” on Instagram. But the more we sit on our phones, the worse we feel. Does anyone ever walk away from "doom-scrolling" feeling more satisfied? We’re constantly looking for a “high” that we so often don’t get, yet we can’t look away.
If I’m having issues breaking ties with my phone and my habits, how on Earth could my child responsibly manage it?
While I know there are tons of apps and ways to control a child’s phone, I can’t help but wonder if the solution to so many problems is to take a step back rather than forward. Maybe we as parents should be shielding our kids from smartphones like we would any other addictive substance. Maybe we should revert to the old flip phone and Nokia days. If the purpose is to “stay in contact,” then you really don’t need the latest Apple or Android technology. Do I sound like a 90-year-old yet? Perfect.
Of course, this is all just wishful thinking. None of that will happen, and in the years to come, my sweet baby will likely approach me many more times about a smartphone.
But for me, my answer will remain the same for the foreseeable future and as long as possible.
As the great "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson once put it, “It’s a no from me, dawg.”
Enjoy your highly-monitored iPad time and landline, kid. Or better yet, go talk to Santa and the unicorns on your paper phone. That’s way more fun anyway.
"Smartphone" - Google News
March 29, 2021 at 06:00PM
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What age should kids get a smartphone? My vote is ‘maybe never’ - NOLA.com
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